


take myself out from being trapped in the darkness

by OhHelloPotato



Series: Stray Kids One-shot, Dribble, and Drabble Collection [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Heavy Angst, I wrote this on a whim, M/M, Multi, OT9 - Freeform, Polyamorous Stray Kids, Polyamory, Sad Han Jisung | Han, Sad with a Happy Ending, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, aha these are mah thoughts man, dont hate me, making jisung suffer with my thoughts? never heard of that, no one is mentioned specifically, other than jisung, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 13:11:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18389093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhHelloPotato/pseuds/OhHelloPotato
Summary: [title taken from 'hellevator']"oh god, what was wrong with him?"





	take myself out from being trapped in the darkness

**Author's Note:**

> vent fic but jisung gets a happy ending and i don't because i don't want one. :)

everything was too much. it was _too_ much. suffocating, pulling him under.  
his body felt heavy, so heavy. so uncomfortably bulky. he just wanted to throw up. to rid of that sick underlying feeling of guilt and disgust.  
how could he let himself get this big?  
he was doing so well, limiting his portions, exercising into the night. avoiding solids and liquids alike to _feel_ skinny; to _be_ skinny.  
oh god, what was wrong with him?  
he was pathetically revolting. he just wanted to carve every flaw, every clump of fat off his skin, watch himself bleed out. watch himself wither away with a bitter smile on his face. he wanted it bad. so _bad_.  
he wanted to scream, oh how jisung wanted to scream. wanted to wail and thrash around and cry and ask why he was like this. why it wasn't _working_.  
but his loved ones dealt with their own problems, they shouldn't have to deal with his.  
he didn't want their help, but he needed it. he _needed_ it.  
that's why he let himself fall to the ground like a rag doll, that's why he let himself be whisked away into the dark only to be brought back to the stricken faces of eight boys, that's why he let it all out with sobs and pleads and apologies. he was sorry, he was _so_ _sorry_.  
but god, it felt amazing to have someone care. he basked in love he didn't deserve, howled in anger and sorrow and sentiment and endearment. it was all too much and all too little and his emotions were messing with him but that didn't matter anymore.  
no longer did jisung yearn for an ache.  
because now he had _love_ , he had _hope_ , and he had a _recovery_. 

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so that was a mess.  
> sorry! just had to get my feelings written down, and why not turn it into a dribble?
> 
> hope you all have a wonderful week.  
> <3


End file.
